Guest Blog by Marisa Donnelly.

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What does it really mean to be a leader?

When I think of the word ‘leader,’ it’s often synonymous with strong, bold, or resilient. I picture a person—and often a woman—with her head held high, eyes straight, and a self-assured smile on her face. Leaders are powerful. Leaders are striking. And leaders just have this presence about them that makes you trust the words that leave their lips.

I always saw leadership as strength. But it wasn’t until my twenties that I realized true leaders don’t always have to be bold or the center of attention. There is a power in leading with softness, with gentleness, and with grace.

Here are a few ways you can try this in your own life and business:

1. Recognize your flaws

Here’s the funny thing—being a leader doesn’t mean that you have to get it all right. 

Somewhere along the journey we’ve confused authority with perfection and it’s simply not true. Even the best leaders made mistakes, fell down, and said the wrong things. Even the best Christ-followers hurt people or do things they regret.

Being a leader isn’t about knowing everything, having all the answers, or walking around with this air of blamelessness. In fact, some of the best leaders are the ones who recognize their flaws and actively (and often openly) work on them.

If you find that you’re struggling in this area, find a trusted person and ask them to help you. Speak with them about what you’re having trouble with, have them be critical of your performance, choices, or perspectives, and find small ways to see who you really are—behind the mask.

2. Lean on your support systems

One of the marks of a true leader is leaning on others around you. And this is true, isn’t it? Think of every movie or book—the real hero isn’t the lone wolf. It’s the lone wolf who ends up leading the pack. It’s the lone wolf who falls in love. It’s the lone wolf who brings people together.
And that’s what it’s all about—recognizing that we all need people—and to be the best leader you can be, you must lean on others as equally as you support them.

3. Acknowledge and embrace imperfection

There’s a difference between recognizing your flaws and working on them, and acknowledging and embracing imperfection. Hear me out: It’s easy to recognize things within ourselves sometimes (in fact, we’re often our own worst critics!) but when we acknowledge and embrace imperfection that means we are seeing ourselves and others for who we are—sinners, loved by God—and we are choosing to move forward in love anyways.

Acknowledging and embracing imperfection means saying, “I see you. I understand you. And I see and understand myself, too. I know we won’t ever be perfect, but we will try our hardest.” 

And there is power in bringing those words to the light. It frees you, empowers your team, and reminds everyone that in the mess of life, you can still move forward.

4. Defer to others for their expertise

Or, in other words: ask for help. 

This is probably one of the hardest things in the world, but it is necessary in order to be a good leader. Learn when you’re in over your head. Learn when it’s okay to reach out to others. Learn how to take as much as you give. 

In business, it’s also valuable to have an arsenal of people you can defer and refer to. You can’t always do and be everything, so having people you can rely on will lift your burdens while encouraging them, too.

5. Slow down

I write this point for you—but I also write it for myself. Slowing down is one of the most challenging parts of being someone who is driven to lead. You want to go, go, go and do, do, do. And shutting off that faucet of passion can feel debilitating at times.

But you have to remember that the best leaders need rest. 

The best leaders can lead when their cups are full.